• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Happily Homegrown
  • Home
  • About
    • Pennsylvania Homeschool Evaluations
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Disclosure
    • Media Kit
  • Homemaking
  • Homeschooling
  • Homesteading
    • Canning & Preserving
    • Gardening
    • Recipes from the Garden
You are here: Home / Homemaking / You Can’t Tell Just By Looking | My Life With Postpartum Depression

You Can’t Tell Just By Looking | My Life With Postpartum Depression

By Stephanie 3 Comments

Sharing is caring!

29 shares
  • 8

Posts on Happily Homegrown contain affiliate links. When you make a purchase through an affiliate link, your price will be the same, but Happily Homegrown will receive a small commission. Thank you for your support!

About a year ago, there was an article circulating on Facebook titled Can You Tell A Mom Has Postpartum Depression Just By Looking At Her?

I’ve shared this article with several friends, and the mommy group that I am in.  A friend of mine commented, “…It’s amazing how these women put on a smile and kept going even though they felt completely empty or full of rage.”

I know what she means.

From the outside, you never know what someone else is going through.

So I decided to share my story …

on-the-beach-PPD-confession

I had PPD after having Emily, and again after my miscarriage 18mos later, which was a severe case.  Unless you were around me on a regular basis, you wouldn’t have known.

I put on the happy face, acted as people expected when we were in public, and went through the motions.  I knew what to say, how to say it, and avoid all concern from the outside world.

When I was home, it was a completely different story.

I loved my children and would never hurt them or myself, it never even crossed my mind, however the darkness was unescapable, and every breath felt like an elephant sitting on my chest.  I was ashamed, as many mother are, didn’t talk about it, and suffered in silence because I didn’t want to be judged.

Thankfully, I had a midwife that I was able to call when I finally snapped; and luckily I realized I had snapped and was in need of outside help.  In February 2011, I went on medication, started seeing a therapist, and started to feel like myself again.  In January 2012, we had discussed starting to wean off my medication in time for Emily’s 3rd birthday in May.

In February, the pharmacist made a mistake that I wouldn’t catch for 28 days – I was taking a pill 3xs my normal dose.  I was in a serotonin storm.  I was manic.  I almost left my husband.  I almost left my entire family.  I wanted to run.  I felt like I was jumping out of my own skin.  I was so far from being myself that I didn’t know who I had become.  I didn’t know what to do, whether I was coming or going.  Every day there was an internal fight to stay in control.

On day 28, I sat down to set up my pills & vitamins for the week, and having renewed my prescription before running out this time, I realized that the pills I was given were smaller than the ones I had been taking.  I got scared.  I got angry.  I wanted to hit things.  I wanted to throw things.  But then, I was relieved.  I wasn’t losing my mind, I had just been on the wrong medication and my body was reacting to it.  I was in for one hell of a fight to regain control of my life.

Upon figuring out what was going on, I very slowly, under medical guidance, stepped down to my regular dose.  I had multiple therapist, cardiologist, and doctor appointments each week.

By the end of August, I was completely off of my meds, and felt better than I had in almost 4 years.  My PPD was in remission and I was moving on with my life, and was once again happy in my marriage and my role as a mom.

I got pregnant with Michael in September.

Each and every day since finding out I was pregnant, I worried if it was going to happen again.  My pregnancy was uneventful.  I would get anxious and stressed, and would even cry, but it was always situational and only lasted for a short time.

My husband & I became advocates for my mental and physical health, and did whatever we could to set ourselves up for a smooth transition to being a family of 5.  Steve went to my therapist appointments with me.  We hired a postpartum doula.  I even learned about placenta encapsulation, and its potential benefits in treating PPD, and helping with milk supply.  I was willing to try just about anything to prevent or lessen the chance, or effects, of PPD.

Michael is now 14 months old, and I am happy to report that my PPD is still in remission.  PPD can occur anytime within the first year of delivery, but also within the first year of a miscarriage, an abortion, or even the end of breastfeeding.  Whenever your body goes through a significant hormone shift, there is a chance PPD could occur.

1 in 8

Baby blues are normal; postpartum depression is not.  There is help available:

  • For mothers in New Jersey – Speak Up When Your Down 1-800-328-3838 (24 hotline)
  • For mothers in the Philadelphia regions – The Center for Postpartum Depression – 215-561-6381
  • Postpartum Depression Support Organizations all around the world
  • Postpartum Support International
  • PPD Moms 1-800-PPD-MOMS

Related Posts:

The easiest way for me to incorporate essential oils into my bedtime routine was with a diffuser. Don't know how to get started? Check out these essential oil diffuser blends that are perfect for bedtime.5 Essential Oil Diffuser Blends for Bedtime Fighting My Way Back: My 2nd Round with Postpartum Depression In celebration of Michael's 3rd birthday, I'd like to share my birth story and the story of our gentle c-section that brought him into the world.Michael’s Birth Story – A Gentle C-Section No matter their age, your children can and should be doing chores around the house, starting with taking care of their own bedrooms.Day 33: Kids’ Room – Chores for Children by Age

Sharing is caring!

29 shares
  • 8
Previous Post: « Loaded Potato Soup – Comfort Food in a Bowl
Next Post: Buttermilk Biscuits »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Liz

    January 28, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your children are so blessed to have an honest, strong mom to raise them!

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      January 29, 2016 at 11:58 am

      Thank you.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Fighting My Way Back: My 2nd Round with Postpartum Depression - Happily Homegrown says:
    July 15, 2018 at 5:31 pm

    […] having my second miscarriage in 2010, my life spiraled out of control.  I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression.  I began seeing a therapist, and started taking antidepressants to get my head back on […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to Happily Homegrown  Where homemaking, homeschooling, and homesteading meet!

I’m so glad you stopped by.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Disclosure

Posts may contain advertising, paid sponsorship, or affiliate links. If you purchase a product, complete an offer, or print a coupon through an affiliate link, your cost will be the same, but Happily Homegrown will automatically receive a small commission that helps us to keep this site going and creating content.  Your support is greatly appreciated!

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Copyright © 2023 Happily Homegrown on the Foodie Pro Theme